It is the beginning of the school year. For a lot of parents, this means the beginning of Individual Education Plan (IEP) and 504 Meetings. As a parent of a child with an IEP as well as years of working as a school social worker, I have been on both sides of the IEP table. Having done so, I can honestly say that IEPs are the WORST. Seriously! Parents dread them. Teachers dread them. School administrators dread them. They are the worst. However, they are necessary and extremely important. Since you must do it anyway, here are 7 tips to help you get through your next IEP meeting.
- Take a deep breath.
This might sound cliché, but IEP meetings can be an emotional rollercoaster. No matter your profession or level of educational attainment, it is never easy to go into a meeting to discuss your child’s struggles in school. Take a deep breath, a sip of coffee, think about the glass of wine at the end of the day, or whatever else will help you relax. When your brain is on fire you don’t respond as rationally as you could. Take a deep breath. You got this!
- Try to go into the meeting as objectively as possible.
This can be difficult. After all, this is your child. You love them and you are totally biased that they are the best kid ever. However, it is important to remember that an IEP is an important legal document which details your child’s learning needs, the services the school will provide, specific goals, and how they will be measured. The school views the meeting as a legal procedure and will act in such a manner. Try not to be offended by their objective stance. Going into the meeting with an objective perspective will help you obtain a better understanding of your child’s learning needs and how the school intends to address them.
- Remember you are PART of the team.
As a parent, it often does not feel like you are actually part of the team. It usually feels like you are sitting in the classroom with Charlie Brown’s teacher, as if the school is having a meeting and you just happened to be present. As a parent, it is difficult to engage in the process when it seems like the school is speaking another language. Without a translator, parents can feel disengaged and unnecessary. However, you are a crucial part of the team. As the parent, no one knows your child better than you. You may not be able to speak about grade level standards or various interventions, but you can speak to your child’s functioning outside of the school and your concerns.
- Come prepared.
In some instances, the school may send home documents for you to look over in advance. If so, make sure you read over those documents carefully. If there are areas that are confusing or parts that you question, mark the document with a pen and bring the marked draft to the meeting. If the school does not send home documents for you to review, bring your own. Write down any questions, comments, or concerns you have and bring them up in the meeting.
- Ask questions!
If you are unsure about the results of an assessment or the purpose of a goal, ask questions. If you feel that there are areas in which you are concerned as a parent, but the school is not addressing the concern in the IEP, ask questions. It is easy to get caught up in grade level standards and academic achievement, but it is important to remember that school is about more than tests and grades. If you have social/emotional concerns, bring those up to the school and make sure those concerns are documented the Parent Concern section of the IEP.
- Different states do different things.
If you are a military spouse or someone who moves frequently, you inherently become an expert in various state laws. Think about it. You arrive in your new state after your most recent PCS. You have a driver’s license from one state, the plates on your car are from a different state, and the insurance for your car is from a third state. Heaven forbid you get pulled over, the cops will look at you like you are crazy!
The same goes for state laws when it relates to your child’s IEP. While federal law, IDEA, does set up parameters regarding special education in the public school system, it is up to each state to interpret and determine what that looks like in their school systems. This means that services may look different from state to state. It is up to each school to address the needs as listed in the IEP, but it is up to the school to determine how they will address the need. This might mean a change in minutes, service delivery, services provided, placement, and so on. Ask questions about these changes and make sure if you at least a somewhat clear understanding.
- Remember you are your child’s advocate!
While the IEP team may create goals and plans for the next year of your child’s life, it is your responsibility to get them all the way to adulthood. As such, you are extremely invested in your child’s future. We want our children to adapt and thrive in life no matter what difficulties they may have. School is an early indicator of these abilities. Ask the school about if there are any difficulties for your child during unstructured/non-instructional times. You want to have a clear understanding of every aspect in which there is concern, not just the academic concerns. Once areas are identified, as the school how they intend to address it. You cannot address a problem if you don’t know it is a problem.
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