Valentine’s Day may have been last week, but for those in committed relationships your relationship can sometimes feel like Bill Murray’s Groundhog’s Day. Often couples find themselves getting into the same patterns over and over again. The same arguments. The same words. Again and again. While we’ll be sharing a blog post next week that will discuss how to improve communication in couples, I thought I would take the opportunity to share a resource that may be helpful to many couples out there.
If you have been on the internet at all, you have probably seen some meme that talks about “The 5 Love Languages”. If you are unaware of this, I will give you a quick tutorial. Gary Chapman has written (several) books that discuss how people have different languages of love. These languages consist of ways that people like to show love to others as well as how they like to receive love from others. Often couples can have different love languages and this can cause issues within the relationship because we are not getting love the way we would like. According to Gary Chapman, the five love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Thousands of people have taken the FREE quiz on his website that can tell you what your love language is/which ones you prefer to others. Many people even get their partners to fill out the quiz too. But then what…
Just knowing your partners love language is helpful but not necessarily enough to get you two on the same page. I recently discovered that “there’s an app for that”.
The Love Nudge is an app that allows you to take the love language quiz and sync your profile with your partner. You can set goals to help you engage in actions that will meet your partners love language and they can set goals to help them meet your love language. You can track your love tank and your partner’s love tank over time to see how they are doing. You can literally tell your partner that you love tank is low through the app. How amazing is that!
As a therapist that often works with couples, communication of what you need and where you are is integral to making your relationship last. I’ve just downloaded the app and will be working on it with my husband. I’ll be sure to come back and give a follow up review!
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