As someone who has worked in the financial industry, education field and the mental health field, I am keenly aware of how financial distress can impact all aspects of someone’s life.  These stressors are often compounded for youth.  Traditionally, it is assumed that lessons regarding personal finance would be passed down through traditional generational teaching.  However, this assumes that parents/guardians had adequate knowledge of personal finance to teach their children.  While many parents/guardians do their best to provide knowledge to their children, they cannot provide knowledge they do not have.

Unfortunately, many people do not get the knowledge they need to successfully manage personal finances.  As a result, young people can often find themselves in financial distress before realizing how much trouble they are in.  It can take years for them to get back on the right track.  All of which could have been avoided if they had been given some information beforehand.

Many people I have spoken with have questioned why personal finance is not something taught to students in high school.  As someone who has worked in the education field, I can attest to the fact that there is simply not enough time to teach students everything they need to prepare them for life outside of high school.  In an attempt to bridge that gap and provide basic personal finance to high school students, I developed a training with the focus of teaching students basic personal finance skills.

It begins with basic banking fundamentals such as types of bank accounts and works with students to understand how to make smart financial decisions based on their future goals.  It provides insight on how to determine needs versus wants and how to align those needs and wants with your financial future.  While the guide focuses on two general paths, Workforce Path and College Path; it focuses more on determining needs for those path and how to distinguish between needs and wants.

Being able to distinguish between needs and wants allows them to begin the process of making a budget.  It breaks down different components of a budget and how to make adjustments to the budget to fit their personal lifestyle.  Once they understand how to create a budget, they focus on tracking how they are progressing towards their financial goals and how to make adjustments.

Most importantly, the course focuses on debt.  Discussions range from student loans to credit card debt.  It discusses how important a credit score is and how you can get trapped in credit card debt forever by just paying your minimum balance.  A lot of time is spent discussing difference in interest rates and how higher interest rates can make you pay thousands more dollars for an item.  There are also some ways to build credit that do not involve credit cards.

The training concludes with a discussion of investments.  While retirement might seem like a faraway concept to high school students, it focuses on the importance of starting early and that saving even just a little can help you greatly in life.  Having strong saving habits provide future financial stability.  If you work with students, especially high school students, or have children of you own, consider increasing discussions of personal finance.  Student need these skills and not having them can be detrimental to their future.

 

Personal Finance 101: High School Edition

1. Understanding the Basics
   • Banking Basics
   • Basic Account Options
   • Keeping Track of Your Money
   • Future Determines Finances
   • Workforce: Employment Basics
   • The Worker Budget
   • College Student Expenses
   • Paying for College
   • Why College?
2. The Budget
   • Budget Basics
   • Savings & Investments
   • Required Expenses
   • Variable Expenses
   • Building Your Own Budget
   • Reconciling the Budget
   • Adjusting the Budget
3. Understanding Debt
   • Components of Loans
   • Credit Score
   • Student Loans
   • Auto Loans
   • Credit Cards
4. Understanding Investments
   • Components of Investments
   • How to Save
   • Types of Investments
   • Insurance Products

I first came upon Bringing up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman at my local library.  I must admit I was initially very skeptical.  There is a plethora of sources that express countless parenting strategies, what would make this book different than any other strategy?  Additionally, as an American, I was slightly offended at the concept that Americans needed to “learn how to parent” from the French.  However, as I began reading the book, I quickly became aware that this book is targeted to a very specific audience and with a very specific message.

The author, Pamela Druckerman, makes it very clear throughout the book that she is discusses differences between middle class families in both America and in France.  In these families, parents are often well educated and have successful careers.  They approach parenting similar to how they have approached their education and careers, with considerable research and conviction.  Unfortunately, researching parenting tips and guides can often leave parents more confused.  This book offers an attempt to filter various parenting research based on a proven model, the French model.

While the author does not spend a great deal of time discusses theoretical perspectives of her work, it is clear the crux of the book is an attempt to navigate between permissive and authoritarian parenting styles to achieve the much desired, authoritative parenting style.

Authoritarian parenting is often thought of as strict parenting.  It is a style in which parents provide strict specific rules to their children and receive punishments for even the smallest infraction.  In interaction with children, parents often do not provide context or understanding to the child about the rules.  The priority is for the child to be obedient.  Children are not encouraged to express themselves or formulate their own opinions.  As a result of this strict parenting style, children are prone to low self-esteem.  They often have difficulty in social interactions as they wait to be told what to do and what not to do.

On the other end of the spectrum is Permissive parenting.  This style of parenting is often seen as the indulgent parent.  In this style, the parents are loving and nurturing but often fail to provide clear and consistent structure/rules.  Parents tend to be lenient to avoid confrontation and are often exhausted by their inability to control their child.  As a result of this parenting style, children often grow up without self-control and self-discipline.  They tend to lack the ability to self-regulate and experience problem with authority.  Parents who may have had authoritarian parents often adopt this style as an extreme opposite to their upbringing.

Authoritative parenting, is considered to be the best of both worlds as it is considered to be the most effective parenting style.  In this style, parents have a high expectation for their children while understanding that children are bound to make mistakes, from which they can learn.  Parents have reasonable rules and structure that they provide to their children, they have an open communication with children, and take their children’s thoughts and feelings into consideration.  However, the authoritative parent understand that it is ultimately themselves who are in charge and make the final decisions.  Key in this parenting approach is understanding that each child is different, thus adult responses should be tailored to the specific child.  Children raised under this style tend to grow up happy, capable, and successful.

Unfortunately, there is no manual that describes how to obtain this magical middle ground. While many resources offer suggestions and tips,  there are few that provide step-by-step instruction.  While many parents desire to implement rules and structure for their children in a way that is respectful to their autonomy, they are often unsure of when a child is ready.  Inability to determine when a child needs more freedom or less freedom, can put parents into an eternal state of panic.  In this book, Druckerman provides a developmental timeline and discusses strategies available at each stage.

She provides an amazing account of how she made the journey from Permissive, American mother to an Authoritative, French-inspired mother.  Her book provides excellent tips as well as research to demonstrate this transition.  Most importantly, she stresses the importance of understanding that it is not an adjustment that can be made overnight.  The transition from permissive to authoritative parent occurred gradually over time.  Similarly, the authoritative style of parenting gradually changes over time, there is no stage of completion.

Druckman provides an amazing blend of research, conventional wisdom, and reality that makes this book relatable to mothers of all ages and stages.  Her ability to bear her soul and honestly express her experiences decreases the shame and guilt that can be experienced by all mothers.  I highly recommend this book to mothers everywhere.

Additional resources for those interested in learning more about parenting styles:

https://www.verywellmind.com/parenting-styles-2795072

https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2013/12/types-of-parenting-styles-and-how-to-identify-yours/

While many may not ever have the experience of having a child be asked or forced to leave a preschool/daycare facility; for those that do, it can be an overwhelming experience.  Made worse, but the fact that children who are requested to leave will likely face similar experiences at different facilities.  In most cases, the request for removal can best be explained as behavioral problems of which the child exhibits.  Teachers will often report the child has problems with:

Self-Control.  Student has difficulty keeping their hands to themselves, remaining in the requested area, taking objects from other students, etc.

Aggression. Student poses a safety risk to other students/staff by hitting, kicking, biting, throwing objects, etc.

Insurance Liability. Student poses safety risk to others/self/staff by climbing on top of objects such as desk, chairs, and bookshelves.  Student leaves the classroom without permission.  Student refuses to transition with teacher/class.

Disruptive. Student speaks with teacher is speaking, refuses to raise hand and wait to be acknowledged, refuses to join carpet time, lays on the ground or plays with other objects during carpet time, requires too much of teacher’s attention, etc.

Parents of children who have been requested to leave preschool programs, will likely receive similar calls when their child is enrolled in Kindergarten.  The conflict between school/preschool/daycare programs and behavioral concerns are the child are evident.  It is the facility’s job to make sure there is a safe and educational environment to all staff members and students; however, removing a child with behavioral concerns from a setting to be around appropriately behaving peers is detrimental to their behavioral needs.

Why do kids that hit need to be near kids that don’t hit?

Behavior is learned. Social learning theory suggests social behavior is learned by observing and imitating others within the social environment.  Traditional school facilities recognize students arrive at school having learned appropriate social interactions from observing and imitating the other children and adults in their lives.  Thus, when a student arrives without learned appropriate social interactions, schools may be unsure of how to manage the behavioral problems which arise from a lack of knowledge of socially acceptable behavior.

Parents of children who lack knowledge of socially acceptable behavior are frequently more frustrated than the school system.  Parents recognize their child may be difficult but are often unaware of what can be done to address the behavior.  At the end of the parent-teacher conference, both parties leave frustrated and no closer to a solution.

However, solutions can be found and progress can be made to both address the behavioral concerns and increase the safety of others.  Social learning theory indicates that social behavior is learned behavior.  Children who may not have been able to learn socially acceptable behavior through observation and imitation can be explicitly taught socially appropriate behavior.

What can I do about it?

Appropriate social behavior can be explicitly taught through resources such as social stories as well as behavioral charts.  Social stories should explicitly state school rules and expected behavior within various school settings.  Behavior charts should reinforce school rules and reward demonstration of expected behavior.  Behavior chart should be specific and limited to specifically desired behavior, not general behavior.  For example, the behavior chart should reinforce the student was able to sit on the carpet with hands in his lap, not that the student was on task during carpet time.

It would be beneficial if the behavioral chart included visual cues as it visually reinforces the expected behavior.  Importantly, the behavior chart should be designed to provide immediate reinforcement for demonstration of expected behavior with several opportunities for reinforcement throughout the day.

The child should be rewarded at a level consistent with his actual abilities, not at a level that exceeds his current capabilities.  Setting the expectations at a level that is achievable for child will increase their likelihood for success and build confidence.  Over time, the level of expected behavior needed to obtain the reward should increase as the student improves their ability to demonstrate expected behavior.

Lastly, the behavior chart should be consistent within home and school to reinforce connection between home and school expectations.  For example, if student requires 6 starts to receive their reward, the reward for receiving 6 stars should come from home and school.

For those of you who may not know, the Teal Pumpkin Project is an initiative by the organization Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE) to create a more inclusive Halloween for children with food allergies.   It provides an opportunity for children who have food allergies to participate in Halloween with treats that are not food items.

While some health-conscious parents have been providing non-food treats for years, FARE has worked to create awareness of this issue at the national level.  However, there are benefits of promoting non-food treats at the national level that exceed the benefits of children with food allergies.  There are many different types of children who would benefit from having non-food treats as an option.  For example:

Young kids.  Everyone loves to see tiny little toddlers walk up to their doors in their adorable costumes.  They waddle up to the door and get pieces of candy dropped into their tiny buckets.  In most instances, they throw the candy out of the bucket and decide they would rather fill their buckets with rocks or mulch. While these kids are not necessarily left out of Halloween festivities by homes that offer candy, they are more than likely not going to be chewing on a snickers bar when they get home.  However, imagine the excitement on that child’s face if they were offered a non-toxic glowing bracelet.

Organic kids.  Kids whose parents have chosen a lifestyle that does not include processed food or high fructose corn syrup.  While these children may not have an allergic reaction to the candy they put in their basket, they are more than likely not going to able to eat too much of it when they get home.

Hyperactive kids.  Parents of kids who already exhibit levels of high energy are less likely to provide their children with additional sugar.  They also may get the joy of trick-or-treating but most of their candy will more than likely end up in the trash can.

Kids with neurodevelopmental difficulties. Regardless of the diagnosis or level of impairment, there are several reasons why a parent would not allow a child with neurodevelopmental difficulties to eat Halloween candy.

Why should you care?

Some may argue that candy is integral to Halloween.  Others may argue that it is their decision whether they place candy out, and the parent’s decision as to whether they let their child eat it.  However, stop for a moment and consider the importance and excitement of trick-or-treating to a small child.  They are so excited to wear their costume they practically sleep in it in the days leading up to Halloween.  Halloween night arrives and they are literally standing at the door dressed and begging if it is time to leave.  They make their way up the street at speed of an Olympic sprinter to get to as many houses as they can.  They finally arrive back home with pounds of candy that are so heavy their little arms can barely hold the bag.  They plop down on the floor, pour all the candy out of their bags, eat two pieces, and pass out in a mound of candy.  For kids with food allergies and some of the difficulties listed above, they may not even get the opportunity to pass out in their mound of candy.  They may just be sitting there watching others engage in the excitement of picking their favorite candies knowing that they will not be able to join.  Wouldn’t it be nice for them to have an opportunity to have a different type of treat they could enjoy?

The intent is to increase awareness of how different children experience these events.  While not the intention, treating all kids the same can sometimes be exclusive to other children.  Other children who face being excluded daily.  Wouldn’t it be nice to make an already magical night even more magical for them?